i HATE my blog it's depressing D:

and dead too!

btw my life isn't really THAT depressing
i did many fun stuff too :D

/:

LOLS.

anws today was super BLERH can!!

i totally didn't pay attention during lessons lor.
so BLERH. :/

but i like HE lessons cause.....

I HAVE JOYCELIN AS MY HE PARTNER!!!!!!
woots :D :D :D :D :D

hahas!

anyways today really rushed lo.
i left the house like LATE??!!

then i was at the bus stop freaking out cause i thought i was late /:
hahas. but i reached there JUST on time :D

then i realised i didn't bring the CNY lantern D:

haiix but it was badly crushed anws.
tomorrow must bring le or else shereen sure scream at me de D:

then Chinese period xiao lao shi told us
got stupid Chinese remedial D: D: D:

then it's like right after swimming........
so chiong like siao DX

3.15 swimming end.
3.30 remedial start *dia0*

so then HC, junfei and me had to rush lorh
cause cheeyang left w/o us D:
D: D: D: D: D: D:

then in the end we ended up taking the same bus!
hahas!

i think we pissed of the bus uncle and the passengers
cause we were making so much noise :/

pai seh lor.

AIYA! don't know what to write le larh.
all i know is that i have chinese remedial cause we have to go back D:

p/s
NEVER gonna talk about bmt liaos.
too stressful DX

tomorrow match against nanyang D:

p/p/s
i LOVE my new school shoe :D

p/p/p/s
i hate my blog skin D:
totally gonna change it....................



ONE DAY XP

weirded De Gan2 jue2

don't really know what's wrong with me this few days D:

I'm like unstable all the time D:
mentally; physically; emotionally; spiritually; socially
whatever ways.

urggh.

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

after losing the match to teck whye,
my badminton life felt like it just crashed.

bmt?
the dejectedness, the failure.

why am i in bmt?
what good would i do for rvb D:

yes yong zhi is right i am LAN.

hiiax when i lost the match nothing really mattered anymore,

not rvb,
not the passion for badminton,
not EVEN the LOVE for my bmt mates and seniors,

i really really really really felt like quiting bmt.

it just felt like i trained for NOTHING??!!
and that after what coach did for us we failed him

hiiax i WANT-ed to train hard,
but now it's mix feelings.
what with feeling that coach is bayous.
and ALL.

and then it's the i don't care bout him thing.
then i don't want to train le D:

haix. sorry i know i was a spoilt brat today D:

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

jia you!
gayle you must train harder
to prove to coach you can do it :D

dead blog!

this is a pretty dead blog.
and i still love it :D:D:D:D

LMAO.

ok ok ok

mature gayle!!!

friday match against teck whye.
haiix.

i have such NICE seniors :D
(they encoraged me when i was down)

haiix....

but fridays match was THE match i will NEVER forgive myself for.
i will try to forget it, but i will NEVER forgive myself for the results.
i will train my VERY VERY VERY best, but i don't know whether i'll gain results.

whatever gayle.
just shut up and do it.

give me one more day to mourn
and i will be back on track on monday. i promise.
i will be positive and optimistic.
if i'm not slap me really really hard.
i NEED to get back on track.

JIA YOU GAYLE.

JIA YOU! C'DIV BOYS.

JIA YOU! B'DIV BOYS.

p/s : i still have the balaku from the smash on fri D:

i serve a strong and faithful lord.

dear lord, guide me a mature me.
i won't lose the mission you gave me.
i won't i promise.

i am really pissed with myself!
it's like no mather HOW serious/hard i train,
i just can't improve!

my lob sucks! i TRIED i really did!
i tried my very very very best today.
i put in my 1000 and 1 % but i just couldn't lob D:

today coach was really angry with us.
and it was all our fault.
we didn't put in enough effort!
he totally didn't bother about the girls,
i guess he gave up hope on us. D:

you know when u scold other people useless and hopeless
you won't feel anything, but when ignored you will feel really really hopeless D:
i just don't have the FIGHTING spirit D:
cause everytime i finally gain back the fighting spirit
i think about coach and feel very given up upon D:
then i think that nomather what happens we will not be able to go to nationals
and i become depressed and the fighting spirit is just not there!
i know i promised i will train super super super hard and stuff
so i will but i don't know.........just feel very dejected.

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

coach's disapointed face

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

seniors disapointed face

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

our OWN disapointed face

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

{ i feel like crying just thinking about it } D:



anyways on a LIGHTER note :D

after training today,
janice, kathy and i took 97 together :D

then later jan and i dropped of at je library that side.
cause janice needed to cut her hair
and me being SO kind decided to go with her XP
the we got cornered by a group of ppl............
(haiix. let's not talk about being cornered.)

and in the end.............

D:

:D

D:

:D

jan realised she didn't have enough $$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(which was partially my fault cause i didn't return her $5)

lols.

so close yet so far.

p/s happy birthday KAIXIN :D my beloved junior
- sorry for having AP just now D:
- i was pissed at myself NOT you D:

p/p/s sorry 1e, dixun, and shirlynn D: i was such a A.P.E!
sorry i'll bring the money on mon. I PROMISE D:

haix. we played our best :D
but we just couldn't make it D:

it was all i'll fault for making coach disapointed and all D:
we really hoped we could win!
we really really did.
i may have said like we did our best :D
don't be sad!

but deep deep down i know that i am kinda disapointed.
disapointed in myself.
we weren't serious with training
and we slacked too much.
as what coach would say:

we did not do all the PT he instructed us to do,
THUS we resulted in such
horrible scores D:

I really really love coach!
he's so nice!
we disapointed him sooo sooo badly and he did not scold us!
nor did he show that he was disapointed in front of us.
all he did was encourage us.

Dear coach,
i'm sorry i disapointed all the HARDWORK you put in us!
i know you expected us to do better D:
and i promise you we will put in 100 thousand TIMES more effort
in trainings than last time and will be much much more serious :D
WE ARE REALLY SORRY
FOR BEING SUCH A
DISAPOINTMENT!!!!!!

Dear teachers in charge, friends and seniors,
thanks for encouraging us and all :D
i am sorry for really really disapointing u all D:
i promise we'll put on a better match :D
it's just that we will not be able to go nationals any more D:
cause we won't be able to beat nanyang.
unless we suddenly evolve to LIN DAN or something.
or nanyang bmt get's BIRD FLU :D
which is all impossible D:

anyways even when we din win
we still went out to celabrate :D
really fun :D :D :D

but since this post is supposed to show how sorry i am about disapointing EVERYONE
i won't post about it D:

oh mans D:

really excited and scared!
tomorrow's like our match against KRANJI?!!
the results of our hardwork!
so we must win!
But like kranji's so PRO!?!

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

we need a miracle!

scared out of my wits!!~~
i hope i can sleep tonight!

anyways tomorrow we can pon 2 hours of lessons :D

BYE history :D
BYE maths :D
BYE science :D

D:
wish i could say bye to lang. arts and CHINESE!!!!
I HATE HIGHER CHINESE D:

and i am REALLY really nervous!

today the b'div lost to bbs.
and they are like SOOOO pro ??!!
anws JIA YOUS seniors you all can win the nxt match de !:D :D :D :D

WOOTS! jia yous!
RVB RVB RVB!!!!!!!!

today the 8 of us went to train at JE!
and i felt damn noob against NH can!!!
and NH is like okok lor!

DIE DIE LE S:

JIA YOUS!
shir dunch be scared!
i am scarediller.

LOLS.

this is not even proper eng :D

OH MY GOSH!
OH MY GOSH!
OH MY GOSH!

competion is like.............TWO DAYS AWAY ??!!!
like so dead can D:

JIA YOU RVBMT!!!!!!!!
we must beat KRANJI :D

Q: who's the best?
A:
we're the best
Q: who's the best
A: we're the best
T: we`re
the R - V - B - M - T !!
T: we have come to show our power power power !
T: we`re the R - V - B - M - T
!!

i love them girls lo!!!
all of them :D

janice! jasmine! kathy! brenda! dixun! wanyi! shirlynn!

:D love ALL my juniors too :D

KAIXIN <3
ZI YUN <3
HUI WEN <3
GRACE <3
blahhs :D

cause i dunno all ur names that well mahs....
but i still LOVE you all :D

WOOTS getting really hyper :D

anws because of the upcoming competiton...
today we went kfc to have our LAST
FRIED CHICKEN meal for 4 weeks D;
soobx no more fried food from now :D

then dixun kept spitting crushed ice at us!!!
LOLS! dixun so cute! i love her :D
and then we talked about JIAN4 the stratigic moves XP
so funny :D jasmine and i were having little "tiffs" :D
hahahs :D

and brenda and i made this song ( which EVERYONE found lame)

rvb rawks! rvb rawks!

rvb smash! rvb smash!

we will we will
SMASH you :D
we will we will RAWK you :D

so cool luh!
but they just found it lame....

then 1E was like talking about it's better to get pissed off then pissed on........
HAHAHAS so funny cause we all din laugh when she said that :D

tomorrow we gonna PRACTISE!!!!!!
CHAO CHAO CHAO
nervous!!!!!

JIA YOU RVBMT!

WE MUST WIN!

WE CAN WIN!

WE
WILL WIN!

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (50%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being assertive and social and being withdrawn and solitary. Accommodation (80%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex). Orderliness (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, structured, and self controlled while still remaining flexible, varied, and fun. Emotional Stability (46%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being calm and resilient and being anxious and reactive. Inquisitiveness (58%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

lols.

i think it's kinda true :D

but the accommodation it's like describe me until SOOOOO kind :D

hahahs :D

SHEREEN SEE!!! i'm SOOO KIND :D

anws today i got my jersey :D

looks ok to me lar :D

JIA YOU RVBMT :D:D:D:

:D :D :D RVB :D :D :D

we are the most rawking cca in the WHOLE wide world :D

lols.

anws today we had SWIMMING :D
you know the dreaded SWIMMING D:
but it was FUN!!!
cause i taking beginner mahs :D
beginner is SLACKK :D

F-U-N !!!!!
fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun :D

anws BMT RAWKS :D

p/s i actually wanted to post alot BUT.... too lazy :D

p/p/s AUSTIN HAS 6 PACKS!

ok feeling really weirded now D:
pms-ed up again i guess D:
and i just like posted the post D:

anws i hope you will NEVER read this.
cause i don't mean it.
ok i MEAN it but just for now D:

and PLEASE don't bother to read this D:
i beg of you, anyone.


i thought i meant more to you then
you URH HEM friends.
and i thought of you as my
BESTEST BESTEST friend.
maybe i THOUGHT too much but...
it just pains me.

ok! maybe i'm just JEALOUS about
u and xx cause you are all SO close
to ur cca and URH HEM.
see i'm such a lousy friend D:
i depend too much on your.

cause to me u are like my LIFE.
while YOUR LIFE revolves around
URH HEM and your "dears"

ok so now i'm seriously feeling
really insecure with you and xx
cause i thought you gals would NEVER
leave me and i guess now i have no one u
talk to and confide to cause
i would feel insecure that u would think i'm mean and stuff.

and it's like i can't confide to XXX
and now i can't confide to the XXXX
gosh. who am i to confide in.
apart from GOD?

so yeah maybe you would list out my parents and BLAH.
but then it would show you REALLY don't know me
since we practicaly known each other for 4years??!!

ok crap larh.
i'm holding you back
i'm holding you BOTH back for my OWN selfish reasons D:

but it's like w/o you guys i'll REALLY hate school.
what should I do??!! D:

let them go,

don't let them go?

pick one. but don't read.

so yeah i feel really screwed now.
and really feel like such a LOUSY friend.
i wish i really was better than at least i won't feel so inferior to you gals

don't feel like going to school le.

what with the XXX prob ( which was MY fault )
and now the XXX'X prob

i feel really like such a LOUSY friend

if you are reading this which i really hope you are not.
i really hope u don't feel that i am writing this because
i want people to feel sorry for me.
cause i DON'T
anws i doupt i have any friends that really are MY friends.
cause i'm so freaking self centered.see?


actually i feel better already :D

and i have decided to LET THEM GO.
i can't be so self centred :D

they can't be stuck with you forever u'll just tie them back!

:D

JIA YOU GAYLE :D
DO NOT BE SELF CENTRED

mature people ain't self centred :D

ok this is all crap!
so PLEASE DON'T read

NONSENSICAL POST :D

LOLS!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

i'm happy all over again!!

i just realised what a spoilt brat i have been.
and i have decided not to one any more :D

MATURE :D
now's like the period of time where i put my feet down and MATURE :D

and Dixun said i was "mature" for today! So did wanyi :D

i must tahan this "mature attitude" for another month or so
only then can i consider myself mature :D
must jiayou me kae :D

MATURE GAYLE :D

lols.

anws these few days i feel smarter already :D
cause of that critical thinking thing.
i actually think it's interesting and makes me think better :D
and i feel that i learnt ALOT from the lessons :D
(i like it even if you don't :D)

except hummanes cause that was all so BORING D:


wanyi's b.day is on the 16th :D
same day as RV's b.day :D :D :D
happy birthday 1e :D

oops i forgot what i wanted to say D:

JIA YOU RVBMT :D

yupp that was what i wanted to say :D

gayle

dunno anything anymore D:

shall just post some random shit today.

i am such a BITCH.
i hate myself larh.
i mean i dun need to like get all pms-ed up today lar

i was just feeling really pissed for no reason.

i mean if they dun like you then it's THEY dun like you.
then why do u have to get do worked up gayle???

seriously feeling very down in the dumps.
and i KNOW i don't make sense.

the main reason i was pissed was because i felt that i was such a lousy friend.
make sense?

the surbodinate reason was that i feel that people just look at me in one POV.
and that is i am horrible.
and will always be crazy D:/

i mean i CAN change.
why don't you just trust me for once.
anws i will always be crazy to u so it's like hopeless.

it's just that i feel so insecure in them.
and to admit it i think i only belong because i was with them in the beginning of the year
and may be now they HATE me.
i dunno i just feel like they don't like me or something D:

i am like such a bitch larh.
may be it was because i trusted too much D:

ok i'm not making sense :) i'll try to be happy again((:

oh man.
left my swimming form under the table D:
that sucks D:
so gonna die.

anws i am NOT called gayle le :D

i am THE VOLLEY BALL COACH STALKER :D :D :D
woots :D but i dun even noe his name D: D: D:
all i noe is that he is NOT married :D :D :D
woots! woots! woots!
i have a CHANCE :D :D :D
joking....

today so fun lerh!! i love hc and sher :D
woots :D :D :D

for a moment in my life i ACTUALLY considered being a surrogate mom D:
that was totally stupid can :DD
anws shereen admitted that i've become MORE mature :D
woots! heard that people MATURE!!!!:D:D:D:D

anws punky oso admits that i'm more mature :D:D:D
wooots :D

TOMORROW HAVE TRAINING :D

ok may be i am like having moodswings or something.
it's like for while i will want to laugh laugh laugh until SIAO.
then like 1/2 an hour later i like sian sian one that get irritated by everything.
maybe i just dunno larh. i like that for very long le.

D: D: D: D: D: D:

currently feeling really moody D:
and when i get moody i get random :D

:D :D :D :D :D :D

I hate wednedays. OFFICIALLY.
it's like going to be the most sian day of the week.
and it's like nobody to go home with.
cause everyone have 3rd lang and stuff.
D:

trying to feel happy and all.

but somehow it's just so DEPRESSING.


I SERIOUSLY CANNOT SING.
another thing to work on.

NEVER EVER TO SING.+ BE KINDER MUCH KINDER :D

anws feeling so bored now.
i just feel like kicking someone now.
so freaking pissed for no reason.

GOSH! whats wrong with me.
i just read the freaking post and i feel so self centered.
gosh i this sucks. i suck.

anws i love the BLACK & whites :D:D:D:D we rawks. hahahs.
it's like they are the people that make WANT to go to school.
w/o them i'll feel like pointless to come to school larh :D
telling sick jokes and stuff :D
polluting BLACKIES mind.
and ganging up with SHEREEN to bully blackie :D

i suddenly feel like quiting bmt.
it's like really sian le D:

PESERVERANCE gayle :D

sian sian sian sian

really hope mrs look ain't our lang arts teacher and co form D:

CAN NEVER EVER BE LATE AGAIN D:

ok. i think i'm going to blog a really long one today.
don't know larh just feel like droning all my weirded feelings.
i just feel weird larh. just full of hatred and stuff that is SO weird
and i don't know how to put into words.

i was late again today. That sucked.
i don't know how to say it but i felt disapointed.
VERY disapointed. cause it was like God played a fool on me.
i mean i woke up and left the house like really early.
and i really sincredly prayed to God to not let me be late.
but some how the prayer wasn't answered.
i felt like i was bluffed or something.
and it was like everytime i'm late there will be NO morning assembly
and mdm C.C and mrs F.C will always be there D:
and i wanted to prove to them that i could change but it's like they have a WORST
impression on me. i just feel stupid D:

these few days i just felt like God does not care 'bout me
and i feel really down in the lows.
it's like i "got" into the team and now it's like don't know that kind of thing.
and i really put in ALOT of effort D:
and i really WANT to be in the team.

dear lord,
i really pray that you'll guide me in whatever i do
and make me perform and put all my effort into projects.

i don't know lor. i really tried SO hard to change
but it just doesn't seem to work out.i still suck lor.
then it's like i'm not supposed to be easily pissed at anyone
and i am pissed by EVERYONE.
so i sort of feel pissed and UNpissed all the time D:.
it's like pms larh. but i just don't know
thats something i really wanna work on.

then it's like bmt larh.
it's like EVERYONE have their own "clicks"
then i feel a bit left out lar.
and moreover i don't know how to sing and stuff D:
somehow i just don't anything anymore D:

and then it's like i keep lying to myself.

i KNOW i still like him.
but i just don't want to admit it larh.
i don't know i just feel that he likes somebody else lor.
then it's like i want him to tell me that he likes THAT person.
and then i will stop liking him.
but then it's like half of me wants him to say he does NOT like her.
so it's like really confusing.

life's just so weird.

now a days seriously like can't sleep properly D:
keep thinking of CREEPY STUFF D:

eg.

BADMINTON!?

seriously lor i keep having "nightmares" 'bout badminton D:
don't know larhs.
just feel very insecure in bmtD:
there's this like HUGE uncertainty that whether i will be in the team D:

then i get really FREAKED out larh.
cause it's like i really really want to be in the team so BADLY.

then i start dreaming about the training
and what i NEED to improve
then i start to get really ENTHU.
then want to train what i need to improve D:

eg.

DOING PUSH UPS.
AND DRILLS!!

whoa. you see there's something DEFINITELY WRONG with me D:
then it's like eveything is centred around bmt D:
school; home; sleep ; and now blogging.

oh man just say i'm weird.

poops.
CRAP SHIT.
my BMT SUCKS D:
and let me underlind SUCKS!!!

omg lorh.
EVERYBODY is like SOSOSOSO pro can?!?
i am like so damn freaking lan D:
AND EVERYBODY IMPROVE LIKE SHIT!!!!
omg larh brenda is like SOSOSO scary!!!
she can like LOB so DAMN FAR LARH!!!!

D: D: D: D: D:

i dun like my new tension D: D: D:
it sucks.
i can't net propely
it's my on fault.
i need
NEED to woke on my strokes and lob.

D: D: D: D: D: D:

they SUCK SO BADLY D: D: D:

and somemore there's going to be a BMT napha .....

BMT NAPHA ??!!
gawd so gonna FAIL/FLUNK that D:

SOBBX.

I NEEED TO IMPROVE SO BADLY D:D:

badminton's become my life D:
sobbx.

I HAVE NO LIFE !!

woots :D 2007 le:D
bye 2006 D:D

i know saying this abit DIAO.
but who cares.

life is a bit weirded larh.
then today like so freaking boring.
what stupid ASK thing D:
practicaly DIED through the whole lessons.

so far my NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS are failing terribily D:
i was even late today D:
i thought school started a 7.45!
crapp.

tomorrows cca day :D:
all you year 1's out there join BMT!
cause we rawk the world (:

my bmt sucks like shit.
but i must improve MORE.
D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

I MUST MATURE!!!! D: