Saturday, February 28, 2009
I've metamorphosed again.
i hate changing, the who i used to be, the who i want to be and the who i am now, they are all have different personalities.
i used to complain that i was mean and self centred, but i now know the true meaning of mean and self centred-ness.
i need to step out of the "me, myself, i" and embrace the emotions of other people. family friends and foreign people. i need to live for God and not myself.
and I'm sorry shirlynn; no excuses for what i've done to you.
maybe you may not care about all i've done or said.
but I'm guilty for being mean.
and i apologize.
****
noelle got baptised on friday 27/2/2009
went to the baptism service.
looking at all the smiles on the people faces when they stepped out of the water, i was sort of touched in a weird way.
the magnificences of LORD MY GOD has no boundaries and has no limits, he gives me happiness when i am sad, confidence when i feel useless, love when i feel unwanted, food when i'm hungry, peace when i'm worried, friends when i'm lonely. he's my bestfriend. my confident, my father, my LORD. my saviour.
and because of him i now i'm loved.
sometimes i wonder where i'll be w/o him. without his loving embrace.
and all i see is a blank future. a bottomless pit.
i am nothing w/o him.
dear lord i apologise for the millions and one sins i've comitted, i am a terrible sinner please forgive me.
i hate changing, the who i used to be, the who i want to be and the who i am now, they are all have different personalities.
i used to complain that i was mean and self centred, but i now know the true meaning of mean and self centred-ness.
i need to step out of the "me, myself, i" and embrace the emotions of other people. family friends and foreign people. i need to live for God and not myself.
and I'm sorry shirlynn; no excuses for what i've done to you.
maybe you may not care about all i've done or said.
but I'm guilty for being mean.
and i apologize.
****
noelle got baptised on friday 27/2/2009
went to the baptism service.
looking at all the smiles on the people faces when they stepped out of the water, i was sort of touched in a weird way.
the magnificences of LORD MY GOD has no boundaries and has no limits, he gives me happiness when i am sad, confidence when i feel useless, love when i feel unwanted, food when i'm hungry, peace when i'm worried, friends when i'm lonely. he's my bestfriend. my confident, my father, my LORD. my saviour.
and because of him i now i'm loved.
sometimes i wonder where i'll be w/o him. without his loving embrace.
and all i see is a blank future. a bottomless pit.
i am nothing w/o him.
dear lord i apologise for the millions and one sins i've comitted, i am a terrible sinner please forgive me.
TGIF!
actually it's Saturday now and I'm going to have training today. BOO!
whatever miss goh's wondrous! LOLS!
;D
anws here's my agenda for this weekend.
mugger shit:
1.READ CHINESE. FTW. my chi sucks like shit.
2. revise phy. magnets
3. bio. photosynthesis
4.scs D; boo!
5. language arts. PESCA.
6. chem metals.
7.maths worksheet.
8geography platonics.
ALL MY BLODDY SUBJECTS NEEDS REVISING, @$$#^%@#^@^
boo so much for playing sudoku in class D;
bendan gayle/;
actually it's Saturday now and I'm going to have training today. BOO!
whatever miss goh's wondrous! LOLS!
;D
anws here's my agenda for this weekend.
mugger shit:
1.READ CHINESE. FTW. my chi sucks like shit.
2. revise phy. magnets
3. bio. photosynthesis
4.scs D; boo!
5. language arts. PESCA.
6. chem metals.
7.maths worksheet.
8geography platonics.
ALL MY BLODDY SUBJECTS NEEDS REVISING, @$$#^%@#^@^
boo so much for playing sudoku in class D;
bendan gayle/;
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
zomgosh!
hahas hates bmt but loves my juniors
those cutie pies minus cathy :D hohoho.
anws i'm just glad that tests are ovaaaa forever :D
okay maybe not forever but still...
at least i won't have to sit for like 3 test every week!
HAPPY!
anws i've decided to stop thinking too much.
seriously. NOTHING IS PERFECT.
and i'm nothing :D
so oh wells accept the fact that i'll never be confident. pretty. smart or thin enough.
IKKKUUUU!
i love daydreaming :D
it's like one of my fav past times now.
:D
OH WELLLS. i want to play fb now soooo bye :D
hahas hates bmt but loves my juniors
those cutie pies minus cathy :D hohoho.
anws i'm just glad that tests are ovaaaa forever :D
okay maybe not forever but still...
at least i won't have to sit for like 3 test every week!
HAPPY!
anws i've decided to stop thinking too much.
seriously. NOTHING IS PERFECT.
so oh wells accept the fact that i'll never be confident. pretty. smart or thin enough.
IKKKUUUU!
i love daydreaming :D
it's like one of my fav past times now.
:D
OH WELLLS. i want to play fb now soooo bye :D
Sunday, February 22, 2009
stop being so pretentious you stupid girl/;
i can't act like i'm positive anymore. i fell so empty.
so much for being more optimistic this year. i feel like giving up.
i hate facing ordeals or mid life crisis's
i feel like an old ah ma. old ahmas with foul moods/;
hello i even dress like an old ahma. D:
maybe i should get my clothes at salvation army bukit timah.
*****
why do i feel as if all the people around me are leaving me.
why do i feel so mean and spiteful
why do i hate myself so.
why do i runaway?
cause it's so much easier then facing up to life.
*****
they once was a box of chocolates owned by a little boy,
the little boy loved to collect chocolates from everywhere.
the box of chocolates contained really special chocolates.
no two chocolates were the same.
each one had their on flavour, wrapper and shape.
yellow one's, blue ones, strawberry flavored ones, candy coated ones, pig shaped ones, heart shape ones. ones of each and every part of the world.
out of the many many chocolates, there was this chocolate.
it was stuck at the corner of the metal box, buried under the mass of chocolates, blocked away from the world, broken and bruised on the inside.
she was melting soon to be disappearing.
wrapped up in a dull brown wrapping paper with no words no pictures no nothing, she attracted no attention to herself, or simply putting it, nobody noticed her.
she had a really boring shape that was not interesting and definitely not appealing. her flavour was rather bland too. not sweet not bitter. she tasted just like how cheapo chocolates taste like. PLASTIC.
she was a wall flower. nobody noticed her.
nobody wanted her/;
everybody around her seemed so special, so attractive so delicious so unique so so so EVERYTHING.
" i have the nicest wrapper in the world!" " i taste like fluffy marshmallow baked to perfection with chocolate." "people just want me so bad!" too bad she couldn't say it and mean it.
she had watched chocolates come and go, attractive ones, one's with beautiful flavour, different and unique ones. the came and went in a flash, she felt so unwanted, so lonely so USELESS.
everyone seemed to have their own strong points everyone seemed to have talents,
everyone. everyone. except her....
why couldn't she see her strengths?
OH YOU KNOW WHAT?
just let that stupid chocolate melt.
i can't act like i'm positive anymore. i fell so empty.
so much for being more optimistic this year. i feel like giving up.
i hate facing ordeals or mid life crisis's
i feel like an old ah ma. old ahmas with foul moods/;
hello i even dress like an old ahma. D:
maybe i should get my clothes at salvation army bukit timah.
*****
why do i feel as if all the people around me are leaving me.
why do i feel so mean and spiteful
why do i hate myself so.
why do i runaway?
cause it's so much easier then facing up to life.
*****
they once was a box of chocolates owned by a little boy,
the little boy loved to collect chocolates from everywhere.
the box of chocolates contained really special chocolates.
no two chocolates were the same.
each one had their on flavour, wrapper and shape.
yellow one's, blue ones, strawberry flavored ones, candy coated ones, pig shaped ones, heart shape ones. ones of each and every part of the world.
out of the many many chocolates, there was this chocolate.
it was stuck at the corner of the metal box, buried under the mass of chocolates, blocked away from the world, broken and bruised on the inside.
she was melting soon to be disappearing.
wrapped up in a dull brown wrapping paper with no words no pictures no nothing, she attracted no attention to herself, or simply putting it, nobody noticed her.
she had a really boring shape that was not interesting and definitely not appealing. her flavour was rather bland too. not sweet not bitter. she tasted just like how cheapo chocolates taste like. PLASTIC.
she was a wall flower. nobody noticed her.
nobody wanted her/;
everybody around her seemed so special, so attractive so delicious so unique so so so EVERYTHING.
" i have the nicest wrapper in the world!" " i taste like fluffy marshmallow baked to perfection with chocolate." "people just want me so bad!" too bad she couldn't say it and mean it.
she had watched chocolates come and go, attractive ones, one's with beautiful flavour, different and unique ones. the came and went in a flash, she felt so unwanted, so lonely so USELESS.
everyone seemed to have their own strong points everyone seemed to have talents,
everyone. everyone. except her....
why couldn't she see her strengths?
OH YOU KNOW WHAT?
just let that stupid chocolate melt.
Friday, February 20, 2009
life's so much more :D
got to admit this i'm not really an animal lover,
OKAY I HATE ANIMALS.
they are only nice to look at but in reality they poop alot and stink like crap.
and i don't feel guilty eating them.
BUT.
i have no right to judge them D;
cause i POOP alot and i stink like crap too.
further more we are all creations of God right?
creations of God are beautifully and wonderfully made.
okay.
SO. I'M GOING TO LOVE THEM LIKE FAMILY.
watch me.
and i'll stop eating them to become skinny :D
20/02/09 day gayle became vegetarian
*****
geog test is over and i'm jumping for joy(celin)
3 more tests to goooooo:D
woots i'm getting the hang of this life man. study and mug.
just hope i don't flunk my tests.
anws i think i have really high expectations of myself even though i act like i can't be bothered. underneath everything, underneath my heck care attitude front BLAH.
i still worry about my studies. ALOT.
and i am a paraniodo freako.
i worry about everything.
on whether this person hates me
on whether i'll flunk my tests.
on whether i'll get caught by the teacher for BLAH BLAH BLAH like being late.
AND AND AND. so many many many things
like the stupid pesca competition that i unwittingly joined.
i'm scared of failure and i'm scared i'll disappoint.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
i;m going to trusts God in everything that i do
cause God loves me and he does not condemn me for failing.
further more, NO, i all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. romans 8:37.
I WILL NOT FAIL.
i will be excellent and reflect God!
hard but i'll try,
DO YOUR BEST AND GOD WILL DO THE REST!
got to admit this i'm not really an animal lover,
OKAY I HATE ANIMALS.
they are only nice to look at but in reality they poop alot and stink like crap.
and i don't feel guilty eating them.
BUT.
i have no right to judge them D;
cause i POOP alot and i stink like crap too.
further more we are all creations of God right?
creations of God are beautifully and wonderfully made.
okay.
SO. I'M GOING TO LOVE THEM LIKE FAMILY.
watch me.
and i'll stop eating them to become skinny :D
20/02/09 day gayle became vegetarian
*****
geog test is over and i'm jumping for joy(celin)
3 more tests to goooooo:D
woots i'm getting the hang of this life man. study and mug.
just hope i don't flunk my tests.
anws i think i have really high expectations of myself even though i act like i can't be bothered. underneath everything, underneath my heck care attitude front BLAH.
i still worry about my studies. ALOT.
and i am a paraniodo freako.
i worry about everything.
on whether this person hates me
on whether i'll flunk my tests.
on whether i'll get caught by the teacher for BLAH BLAH BLAH like being late.
AND AND AND. so many many many things
like the stupid pesca competition that i unwittingly joined.
i'm scared of failure and i'm scared i'll disappoint.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
i;m going to trusts God in everything that i do
cause God loves me and he does not condemn me for failing.
further more, NO, i all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. romans 8:37.
I WILL NOT FAIL.
i will be excellent and reflect God!
hard but i'll try,
DO YOUR BEST AND GOD WILL DO THE REST!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
and i'm going to trust the lord in all that i do.
for better or worst. for rain or shine.
and i hope the world doesn't end so soon.
but lord if the worlds gonna end soon please give us all a painless death :D
and i'll leave life happily to walk into your embrace....
for GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, he gave his only begotten son that who ever believes in him shall never die and have eternal life :D
god loves you.
and i love you tooo.
cause if i have not loved then i am nothing.
for better or worst. for rain or shine.
and i hope the world doesn't end so soon.
but lord if the worlds gonna end soon please give us all a painless death :D
and i'll leave life happily to walk into your embrace....
for GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, he gave his only begotten son that who ever believes in him shall never die and have eternal life :D
god loves you.
and i love you tooo.
cause if i have not loved then i am nothing.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
SUCKKKKK. tomorrow there's phy test. hates phy.
today was stupid.
i set my alarm at 8 and went back to sleep.
woke up what seemed like soon after and started preparing for church.
jumped into my black jeans and went to the toilet to pangsai.
stayed in the toilet for real long cause shit didn't want to come out/;
got out and put on a shirt. got ready to leave the house.
sis woke up and annouced that i was 950/; got a shock.
church starts at 10. at expo.
bottom line: didn't go to church today.
anws valentines day is over and i still haven't gotten down to making/ laminating the stupid presents/ cards. HATES V.DAY.
hearts shereen, ever though she and i are like van der waals forces. but i still love her. at least we have so bond. LOL.
joycelin is right looking and old photos makes my heart ache/; it makes me remember what lin lao shi said. 人总是想拥有所拥有不到的东西。拥有的却不会珍惜/；
ohwells kathy's right i've got to find my happiness stop fretting over lost time.
badminton is a screwed cca.
so much for this year's resolution to covalent bond rvbmt year4 girls.
we're just so caught up in our own lives....
there is so many things that i need to do and i'm blogging D;
oh well tata
today was stupid.
i set my alarm at 8 and went back to sleep.
woke up what seemed like soon after and started preparing for church.
jumped into my black jeans and went to the toilet to pangsai.
stayed in the toilet for real long cause shit didn't want to come out/;
got out and put on a shirt. got ready to leave the house.
sis woke up and annouced that i was 950/; got a shock.
church starts at 10. at expo.
bottom line: didn't go to church today.
anws valentines day is over and i still haven't gotten down to making/ laminating the stupid presents/ cards. HATES V.DAY.
hearts shereen, ever though she and i are like van der waals forces. but i still love her. at least we have so bond. LOL.
joycelin is right looking and old photos makes my heart ache/; it makes me remember what lin lao shi said. 人总是想拥有所拥有不到的东西。拥有的却不会珍惜/；
ohwells kathy's right i've got to find my happiness stop fretting over lost time.
badminton is a screwed cca.
so much for this year's resolution to covalent bond rvbmt year4 girls.
we're just so caught up in our own lives....
there is so many things that i need to do and i'm blogging D;
oh well tata
Thursday, February 12, 2009
OH NO. hates life.
supposed i'm happy that i studied like redox and half of perodic table.
BUT SERIOUSLY GAYLE? how can you be happy over such pathatic studying.
i mean the rest of 4c probably studied the whole metals notes 4 times already.
gosh. now it's 1 am and you are still blogging.
HATES YOU AND UR SCREWED HAIR AND YOUR FUGLY PIMPLES.
apart from the fact that i'm a down right procrastinater,
i'm relatively happy today.
ate my skittles and choco hello panda today! :D
watched icarly and life with derek today! :D:D
saw pornsak cooking on tv yesterday!! i love him larh he is like so funny and he looks like jaehee.
school ended early today! :D what a change man.
LALALALALAS!
janice birthday is tomorrow. oh TODAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANICE THE CHAO NICE.
lololol.
snaps out of emoness and jumps around made.
hearts bakua....
okay jan ban fan. i'll get u ur pressent soon kae kae! i suck. D:
hees.
:D
supposed i'm happy that i studied like redox and half of perodic table.
BUT SERIOUSLY GAYLE? how can you be happy over such pathatic studying.
i mean the rest of 4c probably studied the whole metals notes 4 times already.
gosh. now it's 1 am and you are still blogging.
HATES YOU AND UR SCREWED HAIR AND YOUR FUGLY PIMPLES.
apart from the fact that i'm a down right procrastinater,
i'm relatively happy today.
ate my skittles and choco hello panda today! :D
watched icarly and life with derek today! :D:D
saw pornsak cooking on tv yesterday!! i love him larh he is like so funny and he looks like jaehee.
school ended early today! :D what a change man.
LALALALALAS!
janice birthday is tomorrow. oh TODAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANICE THE CHAO NICE.
lololol.
snaps out of emoness and jumps around made.
hearts bakua....
okay jan ban fan. i'll get u ur pressent soon kae kae! i suck. D:
hees.
:D
Saturday, February 07, 2009
i have mellowed.
yet i am still so freakishly irritating and un aware of myself.
hates life.
>>>
firday was string essemble, went with joycelyn rachel cathy and their friend. one irritating boy went dinner with us too. sians. the b'div girls rejected me cruelly D;
was feeling really tired and drained out that day, one week of school just does that to me.
but it was a hilarious sight watching a bunch of immature people talk :D
cathy's like so so so random. she and her hole in her shirt.
we were like super late because i ate really slowly. the tom yam noodle was really spicy you see. spicy i like :D
i'm trying to come up with "s" words that sound sexy, so far i have: SEXY. SAUCY.SPICY. SMEXY?! eh xuqin and yawen came up with that, but it's still sexy in a way/;
so yar contribute some yeah?
we arrived during the intermission so it was good. had front row seats that were terrible. all we could see was a big black piano/; suckerrr. cathy was being stupid waving her racket pretending she was the conductor. it was embarrassing yet funny. OH DID I MENTION THAT WE WERE SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT? thank goodness everyone was so absorbed in the music that they didn't notice.
and the concert played on till the end of the day till everyone left.
p/s janice loves violin playing guys.
pp/s huijie and xuqin looked so horts. little princesses:D
>>>>
feel so insecure and so lost.
save me someone.
please?
>>>>
buying ms lai's retirement present later/;
WHYWHYWHY retireeeee.
yet i am still so freakishly irritating and un aware of myself.
hates life.
>>>
firday was string essemble, went with joycelyn rachel cathy and their friend. one irritating boy went dinner with us too. sians. the b'div girls rejected me cruelly D;
was feeling really tired and drained out that day, one week of school just does that to me.
but it was a hilarious sight watching a bunch of immature people talk :D
cathy's like so so so random. she and her hole in her shirt.
we were like super late because i ate really slowly. the tom yam noodle was really spicy you see. spicy i like :D
i'm trying to come up with "s" words that sound sexy, so far i have: SEXY. SAUCY.SPICY. SMEXY?! eh xuqin and yawen came up with that, but it's still sexy in a way/;
so yar contribute some yeah?
we arrived during the intermission so it was good. had front row seats that were terrible. all we could see was a big black piano/; suckerrr. cathy was being stupid waving her racket pretending she was the conductor. it was embarrassing yet funny. OH DID I MENTION THAT WE WERE SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT? thank goodness everyone was so absorbed in the music that they didn't notice.
and the concert played on till the end of the day till everyone left.
p/s janice loves violin playing guys.
pp/s huijie and xuqin looked so horts. little princesses:D
>>>>
feel so insecure and so lost.
save me someone.
please?
>>>>
buying ms lai's retirement present later/;
WHYWHYWHY retireeeee.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
life means so much more than me.
live each day like you'll never live again.
competitions are part of life, fear not of losing but of not trying at all.
I'm scared I'll disappoint. I'm scared I'm not good enough. I'm insecure and in denial.
may be Kathy's right i was never able to love as before after the "break up"
i guess i was more hurt then i'll ever admit.
to be truthful the wound still hurts badly.
God please heal me. Please let me love again.
please lord, let me love more than before?
cause love covers all sin.
If We Are the Body - Casting Crowns - Casting Crowns
It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know
CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way
A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road
CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ
Chorus (2x)
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus is the way
live each day like you'll never live again.
competitions are part of life, fear not of losing but of not trying at all.
I'm scared I'll disappoint. I'm scared I'm not good enough. I'm insecure and in denial.
may be Kathy's right i was never able to love as before after the "break up"
i guess i was more hurt then i'll ever admit.
to be truthful the wound still hurts badly.
God please heal me. Please let me love again.
please lord, let me love more than before?
cause love covers all sin.
If We Are the Body - Casting Crowns - Casting Crowns
It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know
CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way
A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road
CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ
Chorus (2x)
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus is the way
Monday, February 02, 2009
i've decided to follow jesus, no turning back. no turning back.
gosh gayle get that in your head D:
hmmm after a series of emo shit posts ( as shinjitsu (shir) calls it) it's time for a positive post. something like " DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!"
but you know what i'm just going to learn from joycelin and not think about things like superficial friendships and stupid lousy thoughts.
I'M NOT MEDIOCRE AND JOYCELIN'S NOT TOO!
kaekae. bye going to bathes.
gosh gayle get that in your head D:
hmmm after a series of emo shit posts ( as shinjitsu (shir) calls it) it's time for a positive post. something like " DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!"
but you know what i'm just going to learn from joycelin and not think about things like superficial friendships and stupid lousy thoughts.
I'M NOT MEDIOCRE AND JOYCELIN'S NOT TOO!
kaekae. bye going to bathes.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
feels so nice to be at home.
i'm in this mood where i don't feel like going out at all, in this mood where all i want to do is stay at home and watch korean dramas or sleep. in this mood where nothing appeals me at all except chad micheal murray (HOT BOD)
during this past week it felt like a month passed by. oh maybe it did, it's feb already... but still. IT FELT REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LONGGGGGGGG. and it sucked.
it's like so many things happened. CNY. duakim's funeral. School. first bmt competition for bdiv (which i didn't participate in), cca, school, getting caught for short skirt WHEN IT WAS NOT SHORT, feeling lousy about myself, feeling bad for causing joyceling to feel lousy as well. School. treating my friends like crap. singing karoke in school/; geography test, lessons lessons and more lessons. what not?
i feel like running away. there used to be this song i kept singing... forgot most of it but it went like this: running awayyyyy i can't.......~~~~
and i feel like the song now. running awayyy i can't face up with reality.
and i'm starting to dread cca. bmt lessons in school. pe. it just makes me feel really crappyily lousy. which, sadly to say i am.
if there's like this list somewhere in the world that records down one's pro's and cons, my con's list will be like brimming with weakness and my pro's list will have less then 5.... WAIT! let me correct that. my pro's list will have nada shit. and i hate knowing that fact.
why does my lousiness keep screaming at me. taunting me. laughing at me.
wanna know why???
cause i'm mad. crazy. kookuuu. shen jing bing.
that's all i have to say, going to seek escape in korean dramas for now. and if u ask me why it's not God. i dunno. D;
drifting of to nowhere.
p/s and i hate it that people are so superficial and fake. oh wells i hate myself the most cause i'm the most superficial bitch ever. applause for my frank confession.
I AM A SUPERFICIAL BITCH.
i'm in this mood where i don't feel like going out at all, in this mood where all i want to do is stay at home and watch korean dramas or sleep. in this mood where nothing appeals me at all except chad micheal murray (HOT BOD)
during this past week it felt like a month passed by. oh maybe it did, it's feb already... but still. IT FELT REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LONGGGGGGGG. and it sucked.
it's like so many things happened. CNY. duakim's funeral. School. first bmt competition for bdiv (which i didn't participate in), cca, school, getting caught for short skirt WHEN IT WAS NOT SHORT, feeling lousy about myself, feeling bad for causing joyceling to feel lousy as well. School. treating my friends like crap. singing karoke in school/; geography test, lessons lessons and more lessons. what not?
i feel like running away. there used to be this song i kept singing... forgot most of it but it went like this: running awayyyyy i can't.......~~~~
and i feel like the song now. running awayyy i can't face up with reality.
and i'm starting to dread cca. bmt lessons in school. pe. it just makes me feel really crappyily lousy. which, sadly to say i am.
if there's like this list somewhere in the world that records down one's pro's and cons, my con's list will be like brimming with weakness and my pro's list will have less then 5.... WAIT! let me correct that. my pro's list will have nada shit. and i hate knowing that fact.
why does my lousiness keep screaming at me. taunting me. laughing at me.
wanna know why???
cause i'm mad. crazy. kookuuu. shen jing bing.
that's all i have to say, going to seek escape in korean dramas for now. and if u ask me why it's not God. i dunno. D;
drifting of to nowhere.
p/s and i hate it that people are so superficial and fake. oh wells i hate myself the most cause i'm the most superficial bitch ever. applause for my frank confession.
I AM A SUPERFICIAL BITCH.
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