this post is a personal recount and it's coded.
so i won't get in trouble with the school/:
may be i should just delete my names from this blog and be come anon.

*contemplates*

personal recount:

Relate a time when you felt misunderstood. what happened in the end?

Have you ever felt what was it like to be misunderstood? The hurt and disappointment one can feel misunderstood. Well I felt (am feeling) really misunderstood once, it happened on a faithful day just a few weeks away.

I had just come back from CID, and the class was really noisy and cluttered. Everyone around me was busy cleaning up the class room. Hurray! 10 minutes of language arts has passed, i thought, smiling to myself silently. Little did I know that moments later I would be wishing with my whole heart that we were having lessons instead

We had finished cleaning the class and THE TEACHER had asked us to settle down. I went back to my sit reluctantly, dreading the lesson that was going to beheld soon. Just as I sat down, THE TEACHER asked a question, "what did I announce in the morning?” The class was really quiet as usual, and no one answered. I sat there smirking with glee that lessons were not yet beginning. Suddenly I heard my name being shouted (like shouted shouted), and stood up abruptly.

I stood there, mind all blank. I had paid attention during the announcement but why was my mind suddenly blank? I looked at my good friend. She started saying some words and finally the memory of part of the announcement came flooding back into my mind. I answered accordingly, stuttering quite so many times as I was really nervous, not to say embarrassed. Finally after recounting the whole announcement (which was really long) to THE TEACHER (no sex, no name), THE TEACHER accused me of sleeping during her announcement, in front of the class.

I had not slept during THE TEACHER’S announcement, why did she abruptly accuse me of sleeping while she was announcing? I felt really maligned. When I denied having slept while she was announcing, THE TEACHER told me that it was ANOTHER TEACHER that told her that I was sleeping during her announcement. Boy was I angry. I had never felt like scolding someone so much ****** words. Although I was angry at BOTH THE TEACHERS, I was also hurt, as I was not sleeping but merely resting my head on the table. That incident where I had rested my head on the table had not even happened on that morning when THE TEACHER was announcing and I only happened once. How could she judge me just because of one incident?

She went on and added that I usually didn’t pay attention during lessons. When I heard that I really felt very hurt. What did they expect out of me? I was already trying my very best to pay attention during lessons, what more does she expect out of me?

After the whole confrontation/accusation, I kind of had mixed feelings. Though I had promised THE TEACHER that I would “erase my horrible past”, I simply felt no motivation to do so. I was already trying my best to may more attention in class and here THE TEACHER was accusing me of not doing so. I felt like giving up totally, as since I already had a bad name of doing so I might as well really sleep during lessons and live up to my name.

Whatever the outcomes going to be, I don’t really want to think about it/;

i don't really think that this is a great personal recount.
must revise more. maybe this saturday i'll write another one.

hmmm. i really pray i won't get in trouble for this.

((: FEELING GLOOMY. but i don't know why.

hehe.
SIAN KILLED ALL MY BRAIN CELLS TODAY>.<
stupid new south wales science so sian.
do untill question twenty feel like sleeping liaos/:
RAWR. spas. spas. spas.

gaga. feeling really scared.
WHAT IF I DON'T DO WELL?

hehes. seriously i think i'll just break down and cry.
boohoohoo/: hey you should like praise me you know.
i read through my LALA~ science stuff. which ARE/IS shit.
POOP! hehes. cursing here, ain't i?
I'LL STOP!! NOW!! :)

feeling really crappy...
cause i feel like CRAPPING!!:)
*feeling really smart suddenly"

and news flash!!
CID RAWKS!
cause you get to slack during it!!
hahas. next one would be hummans.
DANG!!

okok. lagg/:

gayle

((: HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY>.<

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还想你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

I LOVE THIS SONG!
though i don't know what issit talking about.

anyways everybody's feeling down this few days.
and it's not exactly a good thing lo.
i know WAS down but now i'm up!
i'm just gonna put everything in the hands of God.
((:

F-A-I-T-H
what a wonderful word.

anyways the main purpose i'm blogging is to apologise:

sorry SHEREEN,
i was just thinking about the past few days
i realised i haven't been a really good friend.
and had been really dead. ));
sorry. i'll be NORMAL again on monday!
feeling really weird hahas.

but i won't be like before.
you know what i mean,
i've been through so much things
that i don't think i'll get used to being as CRAZY as before.
hahas((:

SHIRLYNN KOH!
YOU WILL MAKE A GREAT SC!
and you'll will always be a good one be it you decide to run or you decide otherwise.
jiayous**

DIXUN/;
sorry. for like slacking.
BUT I PROMISE I WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL AFTER THE EXAMS((:

whee~
seriously so much things have changed)):
my sitting arrangement.
EVERYTHING.
but i guess it's time to move on.
:D

JIAYOU!

:D

anyways tuesday i went out with kathy to JE liabrary to study(:
and we talked. talked alot.
i just MISS those days.
those sec one days where we used to spend time together.
)):

RVBMT.

)):

all goes back to one point.
CHANGES>.<
haiz but we must be open to changes and DIVERSITY!
JIAYOU! PEOPLE WE CAN GO THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.
as you can see i'm in the positive mood now.
:)

gayle/;

YAY! i'm blogging:)

these few days been thinking alot.
HAHAS XD

and you want to think of the outcome of so much thinking?

i'm going to trust god with my studies!
and not study
:D

NO LARH! i'm going to study and trust god with the rest.
**********

BE GONE ALL YOU AFFAIRS OF THE HEART!

a week just passed.

don't feel like counting the days to mid years):

a week, so many things can happen in a week.
a week, enough time to make one feel happy to the high heavens or down in the dumps.
a week, enough time to cause hurt to someone, enough time to make someone love you.

you'll be suprised how much can change in a week.

i feel really stressed out.
what if i don't meet up with expectations and do badly for my tests?!
i'm scared really scared.

i want to study hard, i'm studying very hard.
but what if i still don't make it?
i really feel like giving up.

whats the point of studying?! you ready did so badly anyway.

you want to do well remember, you can do it.
you want to excel, you want to prove to the world you can do it
remember!

)):

but can i? can i really?

i feel really stressed,
what should i do? give up? or face up with the hurt all over again.
i want to give up. really want to give up.
but yet half of me won't give up.


i may act like it doesn't matter,
but it matters. ALOT
but i do want your encouragement,
i want you to praise me for working hard,
i want you to tell me i'm good, i'm hard working
i want you to tell me i'm SMART.

tell me i can do it,
tell me not to give up,
tell me i'm smart.

I REALLY CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

i'm not that perfect. i'm just like anyone.
i feel like giving up. i want to give up.
i want to fade away. fade into this wall and disappear.

i need your expectations. high ones.
tell me i can do it. tell me i can.
thats all i need. i need the faith. the trust.
i need the SUPPORT.

don't make me, don't tell me to study harder.
tell me i'm studying really hard now.
tell me i'm doing just fine.
just tell me i can, with my own effort.

TELL ME!
TELL ME I CAN REST.
TELL ME!

DON'T MAKE ME STUDY HARDER! I CAN'T TAKE IT.
I'M TRYING! REALLY TRYING.

but i'm going to snap.
i'm like this thread that is gonna snap in anyone pulls me.
I DON'T NEED MORE STRESS.
ALL I NEED IS YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT.

sorry. just feeling really weird. with all the exams coming up.
)):

gayle

OMG!

Gayle's blogging.
something that has finally more then a 100 words =.=

i have finally got over the sad weekend.
OK, just maybe sad Thursday.
la la~

and now I'm going to blog about it.

* WARNING IT'S GOING TO BE SAD

i failed my maths test.
i didn't believe it at first .
so i was just surprised and thought i was in la la-land turned BAD.
)): then when i sat down it was like reality sanked in.
I FAILED. FAILED. I'd failed maths the first time in my whole freaking life.
i mean i wouldn't be sad if i didn't study for it,

BUT I'D STUDIED I SPENT THE WHOLE OF WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY STUDYING!

for this stupid test which i failed D:
and then i just started feeling like shit.
FREAKING BULL SHIT. HUMAN SHIT WHATEVER.
it just struck ed me that i was STUPID.
plain stupid. that's why i cried.

I MEAN WHO EVER FAILS A MATHS TEST??!!
....let me change that.
WHO EVER FAILS A TEST EVEN WHEN SHE HAD STUDIED FOR IT!

D:

ha has. but I've got things sorted out now :)

I'M STUPID.

so i must study harder then all the smart people!

********
LALA!
1 word : FAITH
have faith in god and you prayers will be answered :)

********
and to end this LALA post on a high note.

LA!

OUR CID IS OVER! AND THE MODELS THAT WE DID ROCKS!((:
AND IT WORKS TOO!!!

wenli's parents are sooooo NICE :)
will post ALL about it one monday.
CAUSE I MUST STUDY HARDER THEN ALL THE SMARTY PEOPLE :D

gayle the stupid

I CAN'T WALK PROPERLY!

all thanks to napha

)):

but i got 24 points for napha!((:
YAY!

*****

i still feel very fake?
what's the definition of real?

*****

STAY AWAY FROM ME.

*****

i hate maths

*****

nothing to say.

i'm going to change :D
not by myself, with the help of god!

JIAYOU gayle.

be the real you. :)

the genuine you