dear God, i really need you to change me. the choir thing, i know it’s like possible if i like suffer and stuff, but i really don’t feel like suffering and all. i don’t want the whole cycle to repeat again, i don’t want to be a recalcitrant non existent member and and i don’t want to feel incompetent again.
dear god i want to serve you, but i want to serve you sincerely. i don’t want to serve you passionately just because i know there’s people watching and stuff, i wanna serve you from deep down. being that horrid attention seeker i am i don’t even know whether i can. ok maybe i’m finding excuses. i’m such a horrid Christian/ person.
dear God is there really no other way to serve you?
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