ok i feel very depressed ):
i really don't want to think about what happened today.
gosh. i wish i have someone to talk to now.
but wait no one trusts me, no one i can trust ):
cause i'm such an idiotic big mouth you see.

nevermind.

i feel really pissed off when people ask me why i'm depressed.
LALALAND~i really wish i was there now,
then i'll be a retard with no complains and anything
i wish to be really really dumb, then i won't be so idiotic,
RAWR!! ARHHH!! i not making sense, am i?

don't ever tell me anything.
don't talk to me. i don't deserve anything.
gosh i really wish i can disappear into thin air.
whatever. just shut up gayle.

today i was mostly deluding myself,
thinking that i was happy, whatever.
i'm such an idiot. gosh.
self-training sucks, should have been smart and went home.
wanted to tell her so much, whatever.
don't really care liaos.

ok this such an emo post.
wth. gosh just let me emo this once.

today all the boring lessons,
then when all the interesting lessons?
nobody was around to talk to me.
whatever, don't think they wanna talk to me anymore.

after school, really hoped everything will be better.
wanted someone to talk to, really did, where were you?
whatever larh don't wanna think bout it.
should have gone home in solititude after school.

badminton is nothing but a cca to me.
i really don't feel like training anymore,
i'm don't feel like going for training, whocares.
don't go larh, anyway i don't really care about the stupid bmt anymore.
don't think anyone truely wants to train except for dixun and 1e,
and practically everybody else is dead/:

do you think i want to be this way?
everytime i set my heart in improving what did everyone do?
give me more freaking pressure?!
WTH! i don't like competing ok?! are you really into making ourselves kill each other??!
everthing is so self based! gawd! you are FORCING us to improve.
i don't want this kind of life, i want out.

then later at bukit gombak after everything.
she dropped me a bomb.
i really don't know what to do,
it's all my fault, me and my ohsobigmouth
haiix all can do is ask for your forgiveness.
really don't know how to explain.
gawd.

i hate this life.

really really really sorry.