加油:)

life's so weird.

today as i was walking home from training i asked myself,
why am i living in this world? what was i meant to do?
i know i'm like supposed to make God proud, but have i?
i feel like a failure. oh wait, i AM a failure.

你知道吗，生活像一条路，
每次路上出现什么问题或难以登过的大山，
我们都要想尽办法克服困难，
但有时当你爬过一个大山后，
你发现前面还有很多大山等你登上。
在那时你有没有想过要放弃？

i tried really, i tried really hard.
i'm not anything good, don't trust me,
i ain't good enough for you to trust me.
i really wish time would stop and wait for me to catch up.

this year i wanted to do well in all my tests and i promised to study for them.
i studied, but what did i get? poor results?
my maths statistics test, my how scientist works test,
how did i fair? badly, below average.
and that chinese test? i sat back relack and took the paper,
NO STUDYING! how did i fair? better then what i had last year, MUCH better.
what is all these things telling me?
oh you should slack more, you do better anyway...

it's the same with badminton,
that's why i feel like giving up.
everytime i set myself to do better,
i trained extremly hard, doing pushups everyday, how did i fair?
i lob LOUSILY. my badminton sucks.
then i tell myself to train harder for coach,
then i start to hate coach...
when i tell myself to train harder for the girls,
i look around me and realise no one really cares/:
i only have that much determination.

我不要这种的生活，
我要个充满爱的生活
我不想斗下去了，我想坐在大山下看风景，
享受人生。我想在我自己的速度走自己的路
但这个社会会让我那么做吗？

everybody's moving on with life in such a speed that i'll never catch up.
everybody's improving so much, i may never catch up with them.
i was never good at catching up i will never be.

talking with wanyi today made me realise something,
life never waits for you.
you have to be like武则天if you ever want to succed in life,
you'll have to prove that you are better then others to stay in competition.
though i don't want to accept this fact,
i know that eventually i'll have to face up with this fact
and continue life...but please give me more time.....
i need more time

我会变成以前一样, 那对人生充满希望的孩子，
我不会往后看了，我只会往前看.
我会变成以前一样那对人生充满希望的孩子，
我不会往后看了，我只会往前看
请相信我。当我把心里的不解处理好以前，请相信我。

dixun,wanyi, brenda, shirlynn, kathy, janice, jasmine
please believe me, i'll improve and train hard no matter whether i have the passion anot,
i'll do it for the sake of God, for the sake of you guys, and for the sake of myself.

我会克服眼前所有的山的，因为我是刘淑娴，而刘淑娴是不会放弃的！

that's one thing of my heart (:
feel better liaos (: