some how nothing seems to be ideal enough.
nothing seems to be RIGHT .
i just can't seem to be the person i want to be.
may be i really am a wannabe.

D:

WHATEVER.
I SERIOUSLY NEED TO TRAIN HARDER, I'M PLAIN LOUSY.
see larh go pon training then act like you very good... see larh! see larh!
go train harder then come find me larh noob.
i'm not gonna talk to you until you become as pro as lin dan or something.
hees. D:

i don't know why but everytime i make a mistake or see coach looking at me, i think he hates me. maybe he's thinking:"gayle's not as determined as i thought she was, she has no room for improvement. i seriously made a wrong choice of allowing her in to bmt." and during that times i just seriously feel like a failure with no achievements at all. part of me feels damn malu and sorry to coach and another part of me feels like punching coaches face and say: " stop giving me those type of " see lah who ask you never train" kind of look i can bloody do it if you just don't give up on me."it seems like the whole world has given up on me. and it's bloodily my fault. sometimes i feel so worthless, maybe that's why the whole world just gives up so easily on me.

seriously badminton is nothing without kathy, jasmine, shirlynn and janice
somehow i just can't talk to the rest. juniors or seniors or even wanyi dixun and bren.
you know what i even get really irritated with some people in bmt at times.
and for those times when i act like a bitch, i apologise now. i was/ must have been pmsing.
though i apologise, some part of me also feels like saying: " WHATEVER. i don't really care how/ what you think of me"

i'm stuck in the middle of gayle the good and gayle bad.
so where's gayle the normal? sorry if you don't understand me, but i don't care anymore.

HALF OF ME tells me not to care about what people think about me and just be whatever i feel like being, yet ANOTHER HALF OF ME knows that by doing this i'm just being a bloody spoilt bitch who doesn't care about other people's feelings. zzz. mrs look once said that a person cannot behave by how she/he feels. BUT THE PROBLEM IS WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF I DO NOT BEHAVE BY MY FEELINGS D:

life's such a bother, what kind of life have i been living?
one with no goals? no direction?
seriously Gayle you need a new life, you've been telling yourself that for years.D:

Zzz. i need to be born again.

and once again this is an emo post, it was supposed to be happy. hees.

****

cut cut cut cut
cut away the emo stuff that makes you think. WHEE.
KARATE CHOPPPPPPP :D

****

YAY! I'VE COMPLETED MY ACE LEARNING QUIZZES!!!!
finally. Zzz.

firstly i wanna thank Lydia for rendering her support and big brains and teaching me how to do this terribly tedious piece of work.
Next i want to thank shirlynn, and joycelin for supporting me and keeping me company and keeping me from entering dream land.
last i want to thank gayle for using her great tikam skills and allowing me to past with flying colours ( according to gayle's standards) with a magnificent score of 64% :D

whee. you rawks peeps.

AT LEAST IT'S OF MY BACK. HAHS.

oooooooolala!! i heard a nice song :D it was on joyce as in joyce's blog :D



"Feels Like Tonight"

You, you got me

Thinking it'll be alright.

You, you told me,

"Come and take a look inside.

"You believed me,In every single lie.

But I, I failed you this time.

And it feels like tonight.

I can't believe I'm broken inside.

Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,

But try to make it up to you?

And it feels like tonight,

Tonight.

I was waiting

For the day you'd come around.

I was chasing,

And nothing was all I found.

From the moment you came into my life,

You showed me what's right.

And it feels like tonight.

I can't believe I'm broken inside.

Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,

But try to make it up to you?

And it feels like tonight.

I never felt like this before.

Just when I leave, I'm back for more.

Nothing else here seems to matter.

In these ever-changing days,

You're the one thing that remains.

I could stay like this forever.

And it feels like tonight.

I can't believe I'm broken inside.

Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,

But try to make it up to you?

And it feels like tonight.

Tonight.

Tonight.

'Cause there's nothing that I wanna do,

But try to make it up to you.

And it feels like tonight.

Tonight.

tweebles.

DEDICATIONS:
i wanna dedicate this song to all the people who didn't give up on me/:
and encouraged me in everything.
my papa.
my mama.
my sis.
kathy.
shereen.
joycelin.
shirlynn.
jasmine.
lydia.
ailing.

i guess thats about all the people i know who really didn't give up one me.
maybe they did but i just didn't know about it hees.

zzzzzzzzz i didn't know i had so little true friends D:

t00dles. twitish peoples :D

it feels as though everything is poured out of me.

i feel suprisingly empty and light.

the burdens of me.

i think i'm going to like the new gayle from now on.

ooh it's 11.10, one more minute to 11.11!~
hee hees i just on the comp so i can blog and watch you tube.
i am weird i am proud of it :D

IT'S 11.11 NOW!
lalalas~

LET ME TELL YOU BLOG! THE ONLY REASON WHY I'M BLOGGING IS BECAUSE I FEEL GUILTY NOT BLOGGING AND FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO UPDATE YOU ABOUT MY LIFE JUST IN CASE YOU FORGET ME OR GO IN TO DEPRESSION. I DO NOT WANT TO BE CONDEMNED FOR LIFE D: RAWR-NESS

CONCLUSION: a blog is very much like a human with only a brain, thus they require time on their own too!

THERE FORE I HERE BY CONCLUDE THAT BY NOT BLOGGING I WAS DOING MY BLOG A FAVOUR.

YAY! i'm nice. hee hees
a nice weirdoooo :D

ZZZZZZZZZ. speaking of weirdnesss....

I AM JUST SIMPLY SO WEIRD!
i'm mean nobody ever wastes time blogging about why they didn't blog the past few days D:
RAWRS.

i'm going to write emails to everyone i love :D

YAY! I AM GAY :D'
gay-乐 ;D

whee yes i've changed to be more supressed
BUT I CAN CHANGE TO BE UN-SUPRESSED :D

GOOD FRIDAY :D
your sins are forgiven gayle :D

EVERYTHING JUST KEEPS WHAMING IN MY FACE.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT!
ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER, WHEN IS THIS EVER GONNA STOP?!
LIVING THIS LIFE IS BECOMING A CHORE,
SUCIDAL THOUGHTS ARE AT THE BRINK OF MY MIND
i'm seriously losing myself in this battle,
little by little i disappear.
soon oneday i'll vanish
hoping deep down deep deep down someone will notice this disapppearance.

whatever, life just so don't know what to say.

GPP D:
i dunno what to do??!!

gahs

i guess i've really changed.
changed so much that i can hardly recognise myself.
DAMN I HATE MY SELF. I SUCK.

maybe i should just go and bang my head on the wall and die.
if i die everyone will be much safer from me, the girl with the evilest and blackest heart ever.
i'm so mean that even i hate myself

ppppppppffffffffftttttttt.

steven lim should make a u sucks u sucks video for me man.
guess i not popular enough like xiaxue.
bleah! i want to go make one for myself

MAY YOU ROT IN HELL AND DIE GAYLE.

diediediedieide!!!

reasons why gayle so go kill herself:

1.SHE SUCKS.
2'SHE SUCKS
3.SHE SUCKS
4.SHE SUCKS
5.SHE SUCKS

more then enough reasons to go kill her self larh.

why do u even bother to friend her?
she'll most probably turn out to be a boring old had!
not only that she'll rip ur heart into 2 watch you cry and feel like laughing.
she's a stinking girl you should go kill.

SO MUCH HORRORS SO MUCH INFLUENCES SO MUCH HOMEWORK
SO MANY FACES SO MANY FACADES SO MANY LIES
I DROWNING AND DROWNING AND DROWNING.

TEN WAYS TO KILL GAYLE ( YOURSELF):

JUMP DOWN THE BUILDING.
RUN INTO A CAR
WALK IN TO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND LIE DOWN
EAT SLEEPING PILLS
STAB YOUR SELF
CUT YOUR WRISTS
DONT DO HOLIDAY HOMEWORK
HANG YOURSELF.
USE A BADMINTO RACKET AND CLOBBER YOU HEAD
EATS LOTS OF SWEETS AND DIE OF DIBETES OR TOOTHACHE
HIRER AN ASSASIN TO KILL YOURSELF. yawen kill me.
EAT ESTACY OR TAKE HEROIN.
EAT LOTS OF FIBRE SO U WILL SHIT TO DEATH
ROLL DOWN THE STAIRS MAKE SURE YOU BUMP YOUR HEAD A 1000 TIMES
LISTEN TO TERRANCE SING APOLOGISE.
CONTRACT ARMPIT TUMOR.
SUCK MY SELF TO DEATH.
STINK TO DEATH.

WHAT EVER I WANNA DIE

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING THIS POOOOOPY HOLIDAY??!!

you been eating and sleeping all day long, may i remind you miss nooboooo.
oh ya. i forgot

zzzz.

Language arts:
Feature article – baby first laptop.
Deconstruct advertisement – go ask Joycelin
Hurried child reading
worksheet
Passive active voice worksheet: write a paragraph in passive voice

Higher Chinese:
作文（三）：报章报道
读后感：青少年文章。

Mathematics:
Revise notes page 21 to 41 – test on
Monday (17 march) ( Tuesday)
Worksheet 10 ( term 1)(Tuesday)
Worksheet 1
(term 2)(Tuesday)
Worksheet 9 ( computer worksheet, term 1) (Tuesday)
Remainder factor theorem notes – do examples ( Tuesday)
Indices quiz
– ace-learning
Substitution quiz – ace-learning (Tuesday)

Biology:
Biology class assignment 3 – enzymes
Reading article – GM foods (Tuesday)
Revision – look through notes
and text book (Monday)

Chemistry:
Revision – look
through all Notes and assignments, try buy/ borrow text book (Thursday)
Chemistry assignment – mole concept (Thursday)
Chemistry reading
assignment – refer to file (Tuesday)

Physics:
Physics holiday assignment – test paper (Thursday)
Physics
assignment 4(Thursday)
Physics reading assignment – non-graded (Tuesday)
Remedial homework ( Wednesday)
Revision – look through all notes,
practical book, assignments try to borrow text book. (Thursday)

Geography:
Reading article – go search for articles
at library
Group project – check with Lydia, Ailing, Joycelin, or Liu Qiao
Revision of ALL notes – why did you sleep so much??!! ( Thursday)

Singapore studies:
Search on lee kuan yew – read
the book (?)
Interview daddy on Friday – think of questions to interview
about PAP/:
Write report

CID3:
· Group project
presentation – ask wanzhen, Janice etc etc.

blodday shit. i'm such a failure.

AND TO THINK I WANTED TO MUG THIS HOLS

zzzzz. i'm a failure.

oh and there's a maths test tomorrow. D:
what to say? i die liao.

please lord just let me finish my bio and geog and chinese!

IF I DIDN'T DO ACE LEARNING QUIZES IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

it's ace-learning's fault.

the stupid thing keep's crashing!!!
i don't want do le larh! so irritating.

D:

ANWS I BOUGHT MY BAG!!!!! :D
janice and kathy also buy, same bag same colour :D

YAY!!!! :D

it cost like $33!!!
and we bargained, sort of.... hehes.

anws i thought today was kinda sian.

:D

AND ONE MORE THING.

todays a friday.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!


i haven't done a single home work/:

i rawwk.

GAYLE IS A STUPID SLACKER AGAIN!

whatever:D

i'm suprisingly happy today~!
'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS :D

laugh out loud people cause you only get to live once

i'm sorry that you think i hypocrytic.
sorry, but you really made me hate myself,
hate myself for even trying to change for the better,
for trying to be more accepting of people i didn't like before.

i'm not the only one who changed you changed too.
i guess nobody really understands how i feel anymore.

i don't belong anywhere. not here, not there.

WHO AM I EXACTLY?

I HAVE A PINK BLOG! :D
what's your first expression?

I HAVE A PINK MSN TOO!!!

whee i must be crazy.
i don't even like pink! rawr.

*****

I'M BORED OUT OF MY SOCKS AND JOYCELIN'S IGNORING ME.

hahas actually she's not i just felt like saying that.

somebody entertain me:D

PLEASE :D

gayle hates pink ( incase you didn't know)

YAY!

contrary belief
I DID NOT DIE TODAY :D hahas

so funny! i think kathy and janice are nice<3
they actually believed i had armpit tumor! :D
gahs i bluff them for one whole day!!!

and today they finally knew that i was bluffing them WAKAKAKAKAKA/;
and their expression? ONE IN A KIND.

hehe. i think i'll really die of armpit tumor or cancer one day D:
I HAVE BAD KARMA.
(whatever it is....)

NEVERMIND GOD WILL PROTECT ME :D

****

hmmm today was typical.

training was typically SLACK/:
we did typical things like play badminton. duhhh~
and talk :D

after traing we went vivo to walk and walk and walk and walk AND walk/:
quite boring actually :D

gahs i have a boring life D:
*******
AND...













IT'S THE HOLIDAYS PEOPLE :D

HELLOS! I REALISED I'M NOT PORN AS COMPARED TO MANY PEOPLE SO STOP CALLING ME PORN.

gahs i don't want go school tomorrow.

you know it's seriously funny when you come to this point in life where you just look back into your past, you fourteen years of memories.
wait 11years of memories? i don't remember anything when i was 1 and 2. :D'

gahs i feel like i'm fourteen going on fifty.
ARGHHHH I'M A OLD HAGG D:

i miss my happy-go-lucky, "look-i -don't -care-what-you-think-of-me" behaviour.
i especially miss the days when i could accept and just converse happily to anyone like i didn't give a shit.

I MISS MY CHILDHOOD.

why can't i do all those now? why do i care so much about what other people think of me?

*****

I FEELS LIKE A MILLENNIUM SINCE I HAVE TRAINED SO VIGOROUSLY!

hehes i don't know why but it just feels so good~
toned muscles here i comeeeee :D

anws today i after trainning i didn't go out to buy bag/;
cause shirlynn didn't answer my call D:
and training was just so tiring.

but it's nothing to fret about cause i'm going with kathy to buy my bag (and wallet?)<3
YAY MARCH HOLIDAYS IT'S SET :D

i'm gonna have a new bag! ~ i'm gonna have a new bag!~

*some talks just makes me feel stupid.

******

you know now that we've changed classes?
it feels like my badminton friends really matter the most to me.
it feels like they're my only true~ friends<3
gahs i think they are the reason i really bother going training

i love kathy:D ( heh kathy i know you'll read this so i wrote it. SO GROSS LARH)

AND

i love janice too :D